I’m also 32, and I know this is an age where people start to panic about getting married and having kids. We’re not young, but we’re not too old.
I can appreciate that. It’s obviously different for men than women. A lot of people feel that we should have it all together by 30. That’s not the world anymore. There’s a lot of freedom of creating your own truth and expectations. There’s always a sense of pride knowing that you never settled. A lot of people settle and they live with that for the rest of their lives.
I hate it when guys say that I am “too nice.” Why is this a bad thing? What do guys mean?
People always ask me for qualities I look for in a woman, and I always say that she has to be kind. That’s a weird thing for a guy to say! That makes no sense. If I’m being cynical, they’re probably using that as an answer because they didn’t see a connection. If they truly meant that, that tells you everything you may need to know about them.
I read a book one time about a theory that women should always let the man come to them. This includes not planning anything, not making the first move, and not calling. How do you feel about it?
I think that’s total BS! I can’t imagine a world where you would want to live like that. To me, that mentality is indifference. Indifference is akin to settling. You’re not going to get what you want in life by sitting back and waiting for something to happen, especially in 2021. Sometimes you have to fight for what you deserve.
What about someone who is in an “ok” relationship, but they don’t feel like that person is “the one.” What advice would you give to them?
That’s the toughest position to be in. But, if you have the self awareness to realize that, there’s only one thing to do. If nothing were to change about that relationship, you have to ask yourself if you’re ok with that. If you are, then you will have to live with that relationship. But, you can’t complain about it. Also, you have to ask if this person brings out the best or worst in me.
What qualities do you think men look for in women?
It’s tough to boil it down. This is what I look for: I look for a women with Kanye attitude and Drake feelings. It’s a cheesy way of saying they have to have something that drives them such as passion, skill set, and a fire to make an impact. Also, they have to have a sense of vulnerability to talk about things they don’t know a lot about. I like a woman who has a sense of independence. It’s definitely attitude and feelings.
I’m sure so many girls know your single status and would want to change that. Do you get that a lot?
I am humbled by it. Anyone could slide in the DMs.
What advice would you give someone who is nervous about online dating?
With COVID, it’s pretty much the only way to date. I empathize with women. There’s definitely a safety concern. There’s lots of different apps. If you’re on Tinder, of course you’re having trouble. However, the success is there. Just because you’ve been on four bad dates doesn’t mean it’s time to throw in the towel. You have to keep trying.
What advice would you give someone who gets shy when it comes to dating?
I definitely used to be shy and self conscious. You have to work through it.
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